Endless men feel the best way to win over a girl is to be friends with her.
You’ll hang out, she’ll confide in you, you’ll build trust and a connection and you’ll be able to bring your best self as you won’t feel any of that ‘dating’ pressure.
But familiarity doesn’t great desire. Constant availability doesn’t create desire. A confidant doesn’t create desire. And a shoulder to cry on doesn’t create desire. Save this for marriage.
Remember Tom Cruise in Top Gun. He had his own thing going on, he played with the boys (there was even a sing about this) confided in his male friends and didn’t give into Charlie instantly. He gave away a little bit not a lot.
He was in the danger zone, but not the friend zone.
Women respect men who know what they want
The premise is this. Girls respect men who know what they want. It feels ‘safe’ to not have to second guess a man’s every move.
If you fluff around the beginning then the girl naturally begins a train of thought that put all sorts of questions into her brain about what your intentions are.
Take Tinder for example, if you’re chatting to a guy for more then a few days and he doesn’t ask you out, you’re left wondering why? And the more he drags it out, the less you respect and trust him as you can’t read his game plan.
No you’re not going to ‘push her’ away by asking her out. If you think it’s hard to ask her out when you meet her then imagine how hard it will be in three months time when you’re fully in the friend zone.
If it’s rejection you’re scared of, then why not get it over with rather then dragging out the process?
Unless you have instant chemistry you have about a month before you’re in the no-go-zone. It’s what I like to call the orange light. You can slow right down or you can speed right up.
She just ain’t that into you
I hear endless men tell me that their latest crush has told them ‘I just wants to be friends’.
Walk away guys. Just walk away.
This is the sign of a girl who ain’t that into you. Many men justify this by saying ‘oh she just needs a chance to get to know me’.
However you can get to know someone in a non-pressured way and still be dating. This is simply called ‘taking it slow’.
If a girl really needs to be friends with you before she dates you then I’d question why. Perhaps she has some intimacy issues, perhaps she’s unfamiliar with the world of dating or perhaps she likes to keep her options open.
There are plenty more fish in the sea
Yes it totally sucks getting rejected. But there are plenty more fish in the sea.
The biggest pressure point that some men put on themselves is that they feel this is the only woman for them and they’ll never feel this way again.
You will. Trust me.
If you can cultivate a mindset of abundance then you’ll put less pressure on yourself and you’ll take more risks.
Get in or get out. And remember, women love a man who knows what he wants.